


Damnation

by Destiny_Enemy



Category: Aphmau - Freeform - Fandom, Minecraft diaries - Fandom
Genre: Blood and Gore, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Irene is a bitch everyone, Laurance has nightmares, Laurance just sorta deals with all this by himself, Nightmares, Trippy, really minor tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiny_Enemy/pseuds/Destiny_Enemy
Summary: "He screams, begging, pleading with her to stop, throat filling with thick crimson liquid that pours from his mouth like water.""He hates her, but she merely turns her holy eyes away from his torment."
Kudos: 17





	Damnation

**Author's Note:**

> So, a little warning in advance. This story makes no sense, because it's not supposed to. It's supposed to carry Laurance's emotions and feelings while holding that creepy factor. It's up to you to decide just how much of this is a dream and how much is memories. 
> 
> Based on a headcanon my friend and I have that Irene isn't quite the saint everyone believes she is.

A troubled brunette stares at the hands he once called his own, a dark look in his eyes as a deep red cloak of shadow that only he can see follows him, whispering accusations and secrets only he could possibly know, and yet here this demon is, spilling the contents of the darkest reaches of his mind to him like a sickening song, a twisted dance that only they know the movements to and he feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes as hands wrap around his own, slowly pulling them around his neck and squeezing tight, his eyes falling shut as conscious slips away from him, plunging his mind into darkness.

The world around him is black, the ink-colored mass spreading everywhere, and he feels the sensation of falling, but his feet are planted firmly on the ground. He struggles to move them, the shadows pulling his legs down, making him walk through the dark sludge before he is suddenly plunged under, liquid forcing its way down his throat and he tastes copper, the familiar tang sparking something primal within him and he feels his eyes glow.

Fury festers within him, darkening his heart and damning his being, and yet he finds the rage growing still, a violent force he cannot contain, and it threatens to tear through his body and attach itself to another victim, so he bears the pain as it rips him apart from the inside, leaving him bloody and raw as it tries desperately to claw it’s way out and into the world, to feed on yet another helpless soul.

He remembers a time when he didn’t have this hate growing inside him, when he felt the joy of life without a force clamping down on his throat, an ever-present reminder that he has no right to be living, that he isn’t  **_human_ ** **.** He loathes it, despises the shadow within him that can pull him apart with words alone, and it drinks the anger up, growing stronger the more he struggles against it and he  **_knows_ ** , he can feel it gain more control over him the more he fights it, but he can’t allow himself to give in, he can’t let it win. It laughs at him for his efforts.

He sits still, eyes unfocused as he stares at the bloody shards at his feet, the only sound filling the room being that of his ragged breathing and the slow drip of liquid as it hits the ground, painting his arms red and coating the floor.

He refuses to keep mirrors in his room, ignoring anyone who would question his reasoning, and as time passes they stopped asking.  **He can’t stand seeing himself.**

The walls scream to him, iron scented crimson spread across them in crude paintings and scrawled words that he has no memory of making but how else would you explain the wounds or the floor that is **covered** in congealing liquid and he’s gasping he can’t **_breathe_** **it’s too much it’s everywhere dominating his senses and demanding he pay attention make it stop he doesn’t want to remember it’s** ** _too much he’s dizzy just let him pretend he’s fine he feels blood running down his thighs despite the fact the wounds are on his arms he doesn’t want to remember he_** ** _doesn’t want to remember please make it stop he feels hands all over his body grasping at him forcing him down please don’t he can’t do this again he can’t he can’t he can’t he can’t not again HE CAN’T_**

He feels pain radiating throughout his arm, starting at his hand and traveling agony up to his shoulder as he slowly removes his fist from the wall, his knuckles raw and bloody from colliding with the stone surface, the dull throb setting in as his rage fades and leaves terror in its wake, memories he has struggled so hard to keep from breaking through this mind’s barrier, causing his form to slump as sobs wrack his body, shaking as he refuses to acknowledge the shadow smirking at him through the darkness. 

He hates her, this divine being that has captivated his existence, reminding him of things he will never have, things he has given up for her, for her followers, hoping to obtain purity once his trials were complete, but only gaining scorn for his efforts, the goddess turning her back at the sound of his screams, the broken mortal calling out for her as his own light fades, shadows pulling him under into the dark recesses of his mind, tearing him apart as he begs the angel to protect him, but she merely turns her holy eyes away from his torment so she can have deniability.

He feels fury flood through his veins even as they’re ripped from his body, spilling crimson into the world around them, splatters landing on her outstretched wings, tainting them with profane liquid as more cries leave his mouth, the saint meeting his gaze as she eyes him with disdain, expression apathetic towards his agony as she stands perfectly still, the only impure part of her stature being that of the deep-red fluid staining her flawless being, and it only makes his anger grow, his eyes burning crimson as he beholds her impassive form

He  **hates** her.

He hates her he hates her he hates her  **he hates her he hates her he hates her** **_he hates her he hates her_ ** **_HE HATES HER_ ** **_and his voice is quieted as he calls out to the angelic being, blood bubbling up his throat and pouring from his mouth like a fall of crimson water as she silences him for daring to let her divine name fall from his damned lips._ **

He feels fire erupting from his soul, consuming it in a blazing inferno that leaves him gasping, struggling to gain oxygen as heat burns his lungs, the flames licking at him and tearing him apart as they crawl up his throat and he knows this is his price to pay but he doesn’t know  _ why _ please just answer his prayers  **please he has done everything you’ve asked** **_why must you torture him please it hurts make it stop please please please please PLEASE_ ** **_IRENE_ ** **_-_ **

He screams, begging,  **_pleading_ ** with her to make it stop, asking over and over what he did to deserve this torment, a mantra that he can’t stop repeating, his nails dig into his arms, ripping at flesh as his blood pours onto the ground, rising higher and drowning him as the screaming never stops, throat filling with thick crimson liquid that flows from his eyes and limbs, blinding him as he cries out to the matron once again.

Laurance jolts awake as he had done so many times lately, the nightmare fading as his eyes shift across the darkened room, the quant little thing that he used in the town of Pheonix Drop, his body resting on the cot that he was also permitted to use, a faint reminder that nothing belonged to him anymore, his body belongs to the one who violated it, his soul belongs to the damned. The guard lets himself slump against the bed, eyes falling shut as he turns over and lets the darkness envelop him, tossing him back into the tortures of his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that was a ride, huh? I hope you all enjoyed this trippy af story, it was a lot of fun to write! I'll try and post more stories as the year comes to a close, but holidays ya know? As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated! Have a great week everyone!


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